As actors and filmmakers, we hardly ever consider…
“You just weren’t right for the role” because even that feels like a slap in the face. “Please like me… please!”
Coping with rejection as an actor and filmmaker can be an arduous journey, marked by repeated disappointments and uncertainties. I’ve found it’s made me ill at times during my rollercoaster ride as an actor over the last 30 years. Even though I’m so used to the “It didn’t go your way this time I’m afraid” feedback, it STILL hurts and leaves me gutted questioning what is wrong with me. Leaving me low and feeling useless.
But my rational brain, by now, can reframe rejection. In the entertainment industry, rejection is commonplace and often unrelated to our talent or abilities. Directors and casting agents consider numerous factors when making decisions, many of which are beyond your control. Recognising that rejection is a natural part of the process can alleviate personal sting and help us maintain perspective.
I once sat in on a casting, with a director and producer. It was for the part of Elen, in a short film I’d written, called Elen. So, I think I knew Elen quite well. We met with at least 30 young actors for the role, they were ALL amazing. ALL of them talented, special, unique and just remarkable. But there was only one Elen out of them all. It was her, the minute she walked in, she was the Elen we’d all imagined in our heads, and it clicked and made sense to us all.
I wanted to let you know that you are incredibly talented and amazing. If you didn’t get that role, it means you’re just making space for the next one.
Here are several effective strategies to help us maintain mental well-being amidst rejection.
Reframe Rejection
1.Understand the Context: Recognise that rejection is often not a reflection of your talent but a matter of fit. Casting decisions are influenced by numerous factors, including physical appearance, vibe, accent, tone, chemistry with other actors, and specific role requirements.
2.Shift Perspective: View rejection as a normal part of the creative process. Reframing it as an opportunity for growth rather than a personal failure can alleviate the emotional impact. Instead of seeing a rejection as a failure, consider it a steppingstone. Reflect on your performance and seek constructive feedback. This attitude not only enhances your skills but also builds resilience. By continuously evolving and refining your craft, you position yourself better for future opportunities.
3.Build a Supportive Network: Having a robust support system is essential. Surround yourself with friends, family, and fellow artists who understand the industry’s challenges. Sharing your experiences and feelings with those who empathise can provide emotional relief and encouragement.
4.Practice Self-Care: Self-care is crucial in maintaining mental health amidst rejection. This involves engaging in activities that rejuvenate and relax you. Regular exercise, a balanced diet, sufficient sleep, sit in a coffee shop with a book, swim in the river, walk and be in nature, snuggle with your dog/cat. Whatever soothes you. Additionally, mindfulness practices like meditation and yoga can help manage stress and keep you grounded. Hobbies unrelated to acting or filmmaking can also provide a much-needed break and a sense of accomplishment outside of your professional pursuits.
5.Diversify Your Efforts: Diversifying your efforts within the industry can mitigate the impact of rejection. If you’re an actor, consider exploring other facets of filmmaking, such as writing, directing, or producing. This not only broadens your skill set but also keeps your passion alive.
6.Maintain a Positive Mindset: Maintaining a positive mindset can significantly impact your resilience. Keep a journal of your achievements, no matter how small. Recording positive feedback, successful auditions, or personal milestones can serve as a reminder of your progress and potential. Positive affirmations and visualisation techniques can also reinforce your self-belief and keep you motivated.
7.Seek Professional Help if Needed: If the emotional toll of rejection becomes overwhelming, seeking professional help can be beneficial. Therapists or counsellors specialising in the entertainment industry can provide tailored support and strategies to cope with stress and build resilience. (Try BAPAM, Equity and The Film and TV Charity for support) There’s no shame in seeking help; mental health is a crucial component of your overall well-being and career longevity.
8.Stay Passionate and Persistent: Passion and persistence are the driving forces behind any successful career in the entertainment industry. Remember why you chose this path and stay connected to your love for the craft. Persistence in the face of rejection is often what separates those who succeed from those who give up.
Written by 6ft From The Spotlight WellBeing Facilitator Lisa Jen Brown.
